The Testimony of Ann
Hello brothers and sisters in the Lord from Ann in Long Island ,
N.Y. If there are other gay Christians in my area, please contact me at
Angel368@aol.com. I would love to hear
from you.
I discovered I was a gay woman (officially) at the age of 15. I would encounter
my first relationship in high school which, was both exciting and terrifying at
once. Fear, confusion, love, then deep loneliness at having to keep the big
secret. I actively pursued being true to my orientation throughout high school
and college with the help of older gay role models. My devout Catholic parents
became aware of me at the age of 21, threw me out of our home and disowned me.
Yes, I began to realize, this life was full of obstacles. P.S., at this point, I
still did not know the Lord.
A car packed with my belongings, no home, no job, I drove to Boston to begin a
new life. Praise the Lord, it was here in beautiful New England, that a kind
elderly lady introduced me to the possibility of a relationship with Jesus
Christ. Up till now I had only religion, which produced far more conflict and
pain than a true knowledge of God. But this kind woman read to me from the
Gospels and taught me about Jesus, and like a magnet I was drawn to this Jesus
whom I discovered was God. She was not phased in the least at my being gay. She
radiated the Love of the Lord, and I wanted what she had. We all need someone
like her in our lives.
In November 1984, I became a "New Creation In Christ." At age 25, my entire view
of life changed from the inside out. Now a dilemma! Now that I had met the Lord
and given my life to him, what about all the decisions I made up till now
without Him? Would being a gay woman still fit into this new life? The next few
years would prove to be excruciating and full of turmoil. I wanted only to do
His will, but my fellow Christians were convinced being gay is not in God's
will. I pursued celibacy for several years only to find myself in an extreme
depression from loneliness. The Lord sustained me. I began to date men.
After all, I had never done so since I came out at such a young age. I desired
to have family, children and a large extended family. I met a Christian man who
loved and accepted me as I was. Surely this was a sign from God to pursue a
hetero-marriage. So I did, much to my later regret. Church wedding, gowns,
reception, the whole nine yards. You can imagine the joy and relief in my
parents heart. Well, needless to say, the marriage quickly deteriorated into
much pain and conflict for both of us. We prayed, went to counseling. I asked
the Lord each day, "please, help me make this new life work." The Lord answered
that prayer but not in the manner I was seeking. To no avail and many tears, we
divorced after three years.
The Lord had brought me through this experience and demonstrated to me how
important it is to live in the truth, not a lie. My identity as a gay person did
not change because I altered the exterior circumstances. I was distant from the
Lord because of my denial and repression of who He made me to be.
My friends, this I know, having uncovered every stone, "We are truly Born Gay
and Born Again" to be used for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. The
persecution we endure, the loneliness we encounter can only serve to deepen the
intimacy between us and our Lord. He knows and understands our struggles. He
walked that path also.
I am now sharing my life with a beautiful Christian woman in a lovely home that
we open to those in need of the Lord's love. Yes, I have trials and tribulations
but I put my hope in Him who has overcome the world. Live your life in Him.
Receive his presence in your heart and soul every day. Read the Word faithfully
as God's love letter to you. Access the many resources for gay Christians who
want to study the Bible but cannot due to past condemnation. Remember, the
Author loves you very much and desires to feed his gay children from the milk of
the Word. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. Yes, that includes you, his
gay child.
May the peace of Christ be with you.
Ann
E-mail Anne at
angel368@aol.com
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